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“I do not believe in love anymore”4 min read

Don't believe in love

Many people cannot build their future because they continue to live the past. They look at their scars and always remember the pain that wound has caused them. And, many times, the internal wounds are more painful than the physical ones. This is what happened with a student, who did not identify herself. She suffers from the mistakes of the past. Check out and follow the guidance of teachers Renato and Cris Cardoso from The Love School.

Student – I have been the lover, and I have been betrayed as well. The two sides of the coin are painful, they hurt you and bring marks and deep wounds. Today I say with certainty that the pain never goes away. I never was nor will be the same. I do not trust in men and today, unfortunately, who suffers the most from the traumas that I carry is my current partner. Will I ever be able to overcome my past mistakes?

Renato – What is interesting is that you illustrate here the two sides of the coin: the lover and the side of a betrayed person. You have been the person with whom someone who was married betrayed his wife and had already been a wife betrayed as well. You have already suffered by living both situations and until today cannot overcome this pain.

Cristiane – I see that the main problem is that you keep looking back to your past, to what happened before. If you keep thinking about what happened, you will be imprisoned for the rest of your life. If I look to the past, I will also remind myself of my mistakes, of problems in my marriage and with my son, and this will leave me sad.

Renato – Your past is there, and it is impossible to be erased. However, you can learn to interpret it in a positive way. You need to take in the lessons from the past and not blame yourself or discount your pain on other people. What I would like to understand is how come you are in a relationship, or in other words, you currently have a partner, if you said you don’t trust in men anymore? It seems that you are confused.

Cristiane – Both made mistakes: the married man who accepted to have you as a lover and you, who agreed to be the other person in his life. However, what good is it now for you to look at everything that you did wrong? What you did cannot be erased. Looking back will not change anything about your situation or what happened in the past. You have to look forward. You have to decide to trust again in love, believing that it exists. You need to learn what real love is. When you have this understanding, you will not commit the same mistakes.

Renato – You can learn, as everyone can, but this will only happen if you want to change as a person and in your love life. Those who say that people do not change and that they don’t trust their partner are those who felt disappointed one, two, three, four, five times. They begin to judge the world, the human race, based on one or two partners.

Cristiane – Just like you, student, many live saying these phrases, but become bitter, are not happy nor fulfilled because they create a defense mechanism, which is not to believe in love anymore. All people who do not believe in love speak these things.

Renato – Student, when you say you don’t trust anymore in men, you transfer the fault of your unhappiness to men and not to you. You cross your arms and, using a flawed reasoning, accept the situation in which your life is. You need to change your way of thinking. Your biggest problem was not having been a lover or betrayed, regardless of how painful these experiences were for you. The main issue is that your reasoning is flawed, and it stops you from learning from your past. When you change your way of thinking, you will be healed and be able to overcome your problems and traumas.

To learn more about how to solve the problems of your love life, attend the Love Therapy every Thursday at The Universal Church near you. In each lecture, married couples, engaged couples, and singles learn about the intelligent love and how to develop their relationship.

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