1) Listening is different from hearing
The first step for a successful relationship is learning to listen. However, this is not as simple as it sounds. Some partners think that just hearing is enough, but no. It’s necessary to listen and pay complete attention to what you hear from your partner. When you don’t listen, you hurt your relationship because you won’t know what your partner wants from you or is asking from you. We have to learn to listen more.
2) Acknowledge that different opinions other than your own exist
It’s crucial to understand that people do not always agree and that this is completely normal. When you recognize that the person may have a different opinion from yours, you are able to have a healthy relationship. It’s difficult to accept this and it may seem that you know more than he or she, but this is a fact and against a fact, forget any argument. Accept it, it hurts less.
3) Have a true interest in understanding each other and listening without interrupting
When you can hear and acknowledge different opinions, you are able to complete step 3. It is essential to have a real interest in understanding the person you love and to hear what he/she has to say without interrupting. If you do something else while the person is speaking, you will hardly learn anything or improve a behavior. When a couple talks, they need to stop what they are doing to listen and understand each other.
4) Trying placing yourself in each other person’s place
Before even refuting someone’s argument, it’s necessary to try to understand the reasons that made that person feel uncomfortable. When you put yourself in the other person’s place, you can see and feel what he/she has been through. Putting yourself in another’s place is part of the effort to understand and listen to the other person. When you adopt this posture, you receive the same treatment from the spouse as it’s a matter of respect.
5) Maintain a positive body language and positive and open mental disposition
In addition to the interest, it is necessary to keep a positive and open body language while talking to the person with whom you’re speaking to. This is also a way to demonstrate that you care what she or he is saying. Eye rolling, scowling, crossing arms while the other is talking and looking out the window, playing on the cell phone. This body language also demonstrates whether you are interested in hearing and understanding or wanting to be somewhere else than being there.
Cristiane Cardoso’s Blog